doing it all

as some of you may know my career began in the fashion industry. just like most people, i began working retail and segued into buying, merchandising and personal shopping during my college years. thankfully i had a boss that believed in my creativity and threw me straight into everything - taught me how to merchandise in store, store displays and windows which translated to a blog layout where i would write about designers, their lines or inspiration, trends in the market, looks for less, mixing high and low, thriving in a saturated market in NYC, or a certain street style post; anything i wanted. i continued to work as a buyer and merchandiser until junior year of college when i realized i wanted more.... so i dove straight into public relations where i could work with designers, meet fashion influencers, people i idolized, journalists, editors etc. i started as an intern, learned about samples, photoshoot pulls, how to pitch a story and to whom, how to build my network and credibility, my relationship with my clients (our designers), putting together fashion shows for fashion week from invite lists to venues, times, etc. it was like a rollercoaster of information, so many hours, and exactly what i was so desperately seeking in my career. working as an intern was the most challenging job (that i didn’t get paid for) that i ever had. it was one of the most rewarding and one of my favorite times in my life, and also probably when i cried and had mental breakdowns the most and slept the least (comes with the territory).

this industry is not for the faint of heart, you have to have THICK skin. the industry has changed with social media continuing to disrupt the market and create a whole new space in fashion; but at the time i was there, bloggers were still a new concept. we’re talking Rumi Neely of Fashiontoast and Bryanboy times...

as im sure there are now, there were people i had to work with who really thought who they were. men and women who i had previously admired whom i learned looked at interns, assistants, coordinators as people ‘below them.’ i got a lot of attitude, sometimes mean and demeaning. people who were not my boss thinking they could send me on errands... even my boss at times sending me out with 60 lb garment bags on a subway to queens or asking me to go to equinox and cancel her membership (insert face palm emoji). but that’s how it is, when you intern, when you're just starting out you have to do the dirty work and that means whatever is asked of you. it meant being in the office at 9am and not leaving until 11pm. it meant checking on sent and incoming packages during my commute on MTA, making phone calls and answering emails in cab rides between meetings. when hurricane sandy hit, i drove an hour away to get service to be on a call w my client and an influencer we were coordinating with. a hurricane, no service, no power wasn't a valid excuse to miss this call (not sarcastic).

somewhere along the way i got totally fed up, i overworked myself, couldn’t afford coffee let alone to move to the city where i’d be closer to work. there had been no travel which i had hoped for, partially because our clients only showed in NY and no other fashion capitols. so i did what any respectable 20 something year old girl with zero cash and a lot of college debt: i quit my job and left New York to get some perspective. i've talked about this before, to any adult this likely seems irresponsible but i had to do this for myself. i knew i would figure it out when i got back home and that's something i like to remind others of during hard times - we figure it out.

prior to leaving the industry, i had been eating vegetarian after reading a book called Skinny Bitch. cruelty free living had not yet segued into any other areas of my life besides food. i represented designers creating fur accessories, leather shoes and jackets... and honestly thought nothing of it. the connection hadn't been made yet between the two for me.

when i left New York, i had time to read, to learn, and experience more, and began changing my lifestyle to be more cruelty free, animal friendly. at the time, i felt like i couldn’t (and also didn’t) want to go back to fashion. i stopped posting to my blog, no longer received invitations to fashion week shows, presentations or events, but also wasn’t living off four hours of sleep or crying at the end of my workday to my mother about how emotionally and physically exhausted i was.

let's back track for a second. when i began college i began working out regularly and eating better. learning about nutrition and trying to utilize the free time i had to make healthier choices. i always loved my time in the gym and would watch videos, download programs and read about workouts and recipes. it was a hobby, a part of my life until i no longer had time for my workouts. when i left NY, i implemented that healthy lifestyle back into my routine, found my love for pilates and spin and got my health back on track.

but as do all creative beings, i still needed a creative outlet and didn’t totally want to let go of fashion so i photographed bloggers, friends, weddings etc. i created a portfolio, mostly for myself, but still needed a steady paycheck so i went on nasm.com, signed up to get PT certified and emailed SLT to begin the Lagree certification process.

for the past 2 and a half years i have been teaching lagree and loving every single moment. i feel like i'm making a difference in the lives or my clients, promoting healthy living and positive body image, and still get to put my own spin on my routines, cues, and music. i wear leggings or sweatpants everyday, no makeup, hair in a bun and it’s freeing. i've felt more like myself than ever before. but recently i’ve missed writing, taking photos, blogging and the fashion industry.

i had to learn where i wanted my place to be in all of this. there were so many career paths that i have taken, could i mold them together? or possibly do it all? could fashion, photography, healthy + cruelty free living exist together?

well here we are, a lifestyle blog where sometimes i tell you my experiences (like now) or post about thrifting, a vegan fashion designer, a workout i love, recipes, sustainability and everything i'm passionate about. not only does it force me to keep learning but i get to keep writing. i have found the balance i needed between it all. to not support the things that don't align with my own morals and to lead by example posting what i do purchase, eat, and the ways in which i spend my days and live my life.

my stance? i don't eat meat, i don't eat any fish that is not sustainable - nothing farm raised, or affecting the endangerment of a species. i don't buy items that are made from animals unless it is vintage. buying used is more sustainable than buying new, even if the item is not cruelty free. i limit my fast fashion spending as it is arguably the most wasteful of resources. i prefer to donate time and money equally by spending days at soup kitchens, at rallies and walks, playing games with the oncology sector of our local hospital... and yet when i have it, i like to donate to places that i believe are doing big things to help make the world better, to make people better.

i love fashion, i always have. i love photography, and colors and textures and lighting. i love animals. i love to eat, and to workout and to travel. i love to inspire, motivate and learn. and i think we can all have it all. we can do whatever we want, as many things as we want. like said social media has disrupted fashion, it has also disrupted the food industry.. there are so many more vegan options in groceries today. there are more recipes freely available that are cruelty free. we are an innovative race, humans at their best as Joaquin Phoenix said in his Oscars speech, 'human beings at our best are so creative and inventive, and we can create, develop and implement systems of change.'

i understand that there are responsible farmers out there, families that can only live off their land, and i don't believe in a fully vegan world. it's unrealistic in my opinion. i have been to indian reservations where the bags and goods they have are made of these materials because they believe in utilizing the entire animal so nothing goes to waste. i support that.

the world is not black and white. there are so many shades of grey. trying to remember and understand that not everyone lives as i do, that there are people who have less, and those who have more, not just financially but emotionally and physically. we are limited and unlimited by our environment.

i needed to write this, to get this out. some of you will read my entire blog of word vomit, the roller coaster of thoughts and emotions that went into creating this and others will not. and that's okay.

if you used to love doing something, bring it back into your life. if you're struggling with your place, embrace that and do your research, talk to others, and you will find it. there are ups and downs and twists and turns and they never stop. and i thank the universe for that because what a boring life we would all lead if there weren't any drama in it. sending love and light to all of you.

xx

C